Dylan.

Wow he’s cute as fuck. I can see myself perhaps sitting on his dick.

lol.

But he’s also from Troy, like everyone I’ve been dating.

I’m a little wasted. Lates.

I got physics bro!!

Shit. Good plan. Blah.

He was sexy!

Horrible/memorable Tinder Profiles Part 8

There is a huge problem here…

First of all, the tattoos are the first problem. You can’t wash that shit off!! You’re fucked bro.

Secondly, if you have to mention your criminal history (or lack thereof) in your description, there is an abundance of problems… and I may have just figured out why you are single to begin with…

What you’ve done to yourself is absolutely ridiculous, and you ought to feel like a fucking retard.

And as a special added bonus, this motherfucker wants a girl that’s going to be faithful…and all his?! DUDE!! You were asking way too much, way too soon! With the face like that, you need to kick it down a couple pegs. Center yourself and realize what your face actually looks like to the rest of the world.

It’s not like it was a terrible accident, you did this to yourself…on purpose!

So you need to start off a little bit more humble and a little bit more easy-going if you’re going to want to date any normal female that has a working vagina.

Swipe!

I got to 400 matches. Out of these 400 matches:

I’ve got at least 4 physicists.

About 1/3 of them are scientists

A lot of them are lucky they haven’t been unmatched yet.

I have a lot of messages I need to respond to.

I just matched with another physicist… it’s like I’m in a dream and the sexy scientists are tryna fuck me. It’s great! Bring your physical ass over here!!

I’m going on a date with two physicists on Friday and Saturday, apparently.

They’re both fucking smoking hot and have the capacity of getting fucked by me. Lol let me stop, but I’m serious!!

Tonight, I’m caught between a rock and a hard place. I made two dates… well, I only made the second one because dude number one didn’t respond to my texts… so I was thinking that he would ghost.

So I made another date, then dude one decides to finally text me back. Fuck!

The only constant I have right now is James. We have our sweet little schedule and it works out for the both of us.

These other randos, it’s like, get them all out the way before school starts. I’ll be able, dont you worry a bit.

Is this guy a fucking idiot? I sent him this picture:

And then I curved him because I was tryna see Ethan that day. If he just shut his faggot ass mouth up, I would’ve saw him on Saturday.

Instead he actually asked for another pic like a fucking douche bag. That is the definition of thirst to me! Instead of understanding that he’s ghosted, he keeps asking. Lmao!! Stop it!!

Tinder shit!

Am I supposed to

Talk about my “date” yesterday? Cause there’s nothing to talk about. I don’t like taking over a convo.

And we talked about science the whole time.

I’m warming up for Friday… ok… shhh.

So tonight I’m hanging with some other guy. I don’t really want to… but I’m bored! He seems corny as all hell.

That was cute!