New Reaction!

So all of a sudden today Max calls me into his office and is like, “I want you to be more independent in the lab”

So you are going to make this all by yourself

.

So he had a procedure all ready for me to do and told me he would point out all the chemicals I would need for the reaction.

The reaction itself was simple enough. I actually doubled my yield accidentally. Because I added the wrong thing into the other, or I thought I did. It actually didn’t make a difference…

So now it’s ready to be purified tomorrow and NMR!

Last night

I found out that I do have a gag reflex!! It’s just deep in the back of my throat where no dudes can usually reach… no dudes but Sean. Jesus.

I was supposed to hang out with Russell but Russell got sick so he rescheduled

I’ve spent the past two nights with Sean. He’s a carpenter (who loves physics, weirdly) . But his work site is close to my house, so it’s easy to drop me off in the morning.

We had a little tiff about Dance Gavin dance… The fact that they’re screamo. He wanted to argue that they were more hard-core. I said let’s agree to disagree because that’s just silly. Then this guy starts acting like Eric!!

Made a huge deal out of it… saying that me saying he was in denial is a personal attack. I was like dude, wtf. This was a joke conversation that just got serious for no reason so I started to walk away. And he followed me like, “Fatima!! Come back!” And I was like no! I’m not going to stay here if you’re going to start stupid arguments like that. I might as well go home.

And he apologized. Different from Eric, completely. So I gave him a chance because he was apologetic.

But I can’t take any of that dumb shit. Especially because I’m really starting to like him, a lot.

Tonight, I’m going home so I won’t be around. He said he will miss me.

He isn’t used to waking up next to someone I guess. It’s been a year and a half since he’s been in a relationship.

Well, he’s cute. Super smart, and has a huge dick. He’s a catch so far. I don’t feel like I’m settling.

But I still want to keep things open. I don’t know, I don’t know what will happen. He is definitely not open to being open. Something inside me thinks that this really will not work.

I have a feeling he will want for me to change myself and what I do. Or that he thinks he can change it. I am going to be me until I fucking die!

No one can change me. No matter what. I reiterated this, but I think we should really talk seriously and not waste time.

I can’t just be with one guy. I can’t put all my eggs in one basket again.