Ok so, I wasn’t sure about what Jeff and I would be completely.

We seemed to have great intelligent conversations, but it seemed more friendly than anything. Then the nigga drops a bomb…

He texts and asks, “are you attracted to me?”

And I didnt quite answer the question… I kinda said, listen, I haven’t completely opened up to you because I’m polyamorous and I wasn’t sure if you’d be ok with that… so I tried to just keep our relationship friendly for the time being.”

He automatically jumps into a “I’m poly positive” or whatever the case maybe.

Now it seems to me, similarly to Aaron, that I am the only person Jeff is seeing right now. And he was looking for a full-blown relationship.

When I told him what my deal was, he said that he was ok with it but it wasn’t completely what he was expecting.

Now he’s thinking of being poly too!

See, I’m converting people!

I just hope he’s not just doing it to make me happy. He told me that he’s going on another date tonight. This makes me happy!

In other news: after I texted Aaron, it became a free for all! He wouldn’t stop texting me… saying the exact same thing over and over. It’s like ok, dude, I get it. Let’s agree to disagree and move on!

But he wouldn’t stop!!

I now feel like maybe I did this to Eric. Lol that’s a bitch move! At least I’m learning from it now.

But this psycho will not stop bro. I put him on silent, so he’s just talking to himself right now. He just keeps sending paragraphs. It’s like, we hung out for a week… move on! It’s not like we built a relationship or anything. We were testing it out, it didn’t work, our personalities don’t mesh… oh well!

Lol he seems a lot more upset about it than I am. But who ended things with who? Lmfao.

I break all the rules.


What the fuck?!

I got so drunk last night that I ordered food on Grubhub and passed out and finally it came. I think it was a pizza…

Lol no, it was a calzone. Omg I remember. I passed the fuck out before it though. They kept calling.

I ate before I passed out. How the fuck did I order more food…

Atleast I didn’t talk to anyone in that state. I would’ve been like “I don’t trust you!” Hahahahaha

Let me stop…. I did try to text Aaron but he probably blocked me too. Oh well. I don’t really care.

Today, I talk to them during the day… and the night, I got my Russell.

I don’t feel shitty which is why I keep drinking. This is getting to be an every day thing though. I’m drinking my happiness, and I’m drinking my sadness and annoyance.

Tonight, I may not want to drink that much. Just one or two.

I can wake up at 5:30 and fuck Aric or get ready for work… it’s horrible.


Let me get my shit together….

lol my “gay” ex just added me AGAIN on Instagram. Wtf. I’m not following him.