Ok… I’m just going to compile everything I think about Sean in this one post and then move on to my babes…
So, first meeting Sean, he wanted to take me on a hike which I wasn’t really comfortable with as a first date, so I just changed it up and asked to have a lazy kinda dinner and drinks date.
When I got into his car, I mentioned the Aaron thing because it just happened… I think… I honestly cannot remember completely, no… I think it was the Phil thing…but anyway, so I told him I wasn’t looking for anything serious and that I was dating other people. He said he was fine with that.
So fine, we had dinner and drinks. He talked about how much he loved Troy the entire time, then we walked around some more and went up to the roof of his house. We drank some beer and listened to music.
I pulled him over and gave him a kiss.
God he is probably one of the best kissers I’ve ever locked lips with. I will never deny that!
So I wasn’t planning on seeing him for another two weeks or so, but he would send me pictures of sloop juice bombs (cause I told him I liked that beer) and Palahniuk books…(which I don’t think he actually ever owned because he told me he bought me the book)
he wanted to go swimming and take me to the farmers market and that sounded more exciting than brunch with Gavin…
So we went, and had a super good time. But he told me some stories that should’ve made me pause…
Like how when he was in school he had behavioral issues very early. Like middle school age. He told me that he had to spend an entire year in in school suspension.
He would get into fights and flip over deans and hit his teachers.
FATIMA!! That is a red fucking flag
I decided that I liked him. He was cute, kinda artsy, and easy to talk to.
I saw him again soon after and I the sexual attraction was there. I saw his dick, it was a beauty.
We fooled around a bit, but I had my period so we didn’t go all the way…
We talked about the poly thing during the second date, and I told him that I am poly… or at least trying it out, and that he is not the only person I am dating.
He started to get a little jealous. He said something like, “well you just made out with someone yesterday, we don’t need to make out” and I didn’t give a flying faggot. I said, I’m not forcing you to do anything. We can be friends.
Yet he kisses me under the waterfall.
Anyway, so we hang out again soon after, but we didn’t have sex until last weekend when we went to Bish Bash.
We fucked under the waterfall. That shit was fucking good. Sex was incredible!!
But right after we did that he started to get a little possessive. He kind of started acting like I was his wife or something I know he wasn’t used to having someone with him in the house like sleeping with him and waking up with him and morning sex and all that shit.
But I started to notice that he would try and act a lot smarter than he actually is…
For example… he would obviously look something up on Google and try and act like he knew that information. it was obvious.
Then last weekend we got into a fight about me wanting my PhD and wanting people to call me Dr when I get my PhD. I think he felt like well I would never be able to get my PhD so the fact that this girl is actually able to do it is making me feel some type of way because he told me that from what I said that made him feel like anyone that didn’t have their PhD was trash and that’s not true all I said was when I get that fucking prefix motherfuckers are gonna call me Dr because I worked for it.
To me it was obvious that he had a lot of insecurities he felt some sort of rejection because I would not 100% give myself to him and it’s not me not giving 100% of myself to someone it’s just I can give 1000% to many people and he’ll get 100 someone else will get 100 but I’m just poly as fuck and it took me a long time to figure this out and I know it now.
So because I liked him a lot, I considered being monogamous, but then I actually saw his personality traits; very negative personality traits! he was a hothead. he was controlling. he was possessive. he was clingy and obsessive, that kind of rhymes!
So after his little blowup which she kept trying to tell me that he didn’t blow up he got loud and this motherfucker just gets loud out of nowhere I see a lot of his behavioral issues that he used to have are still there. he is out of his fucking mind!
He was definitely not ready to be with someone like me I am not a person that you can control trust me I’ve had boyfriends that I’ve tried to control me it just doesn’t work you cannot control me because I’m an alpha and though he tried to give off an alpha vibe he’s not a fucking alpha he is A fucking Beta bitch.
He likes to start a lot of fights with people, randomly. He has some type of anger deep seeded type of anger that he cannot let go.
That anger will always be there for him unless he decides to figure out what these insecurity problems are and fix them!
If I allowed him to go any further I believe he would have hit me or laid some type a hand on me.
I’m saying this right here right now if anything were to happen to me that motherfucker did it! He is a grade a psychopath!
I’m just glad I got rid of him and I don’t have to worry about his psychotic tendencies anymore.
So now on every date I go on I was going to tell this person that I am non-monogamous I’m not looking for anything serious if you’re not and I am going to be dating other people no matter what.
If they don’t like it, too fucking bad!
This is my life, who I am, and I won’t be changed or change for no fucking body!
You can call me a slut, a whore, a harlot… I don’t give 18 flying fucks anymore!