I don’t know why I feel this, but something is just not clicking all the way.

I feel like I’m always the one seeking things out. Saying hi, seeing how you’re doing.

This isn’t sustainable if I don’t feel wanted, or cared about. So if that is the case, I can’t do this anymore.

Take that as a text message dump or whatever. I don’t really want to talk about it in real life.

It was a crapshoot between two guys. I chose the wrong one AS USUAL. Lol

Now, I can’t really right my wrongs, I don’t want the one I should’ve chose to feel like second best. So I gotta let it go.

I’m sure there will be a new hot physics PhD. in the fall coming in that I could hit on. Lol the point is… it has to be physics. Lol it’s weird, I know. But it has to be.

Before I Die…

I want to send my parents to Mecca.

I want to visit Mexico.

I want to dance in a field of sunflowers.

I want to earn my PhD.

I want to ride the scariest ride at six flags.

I want to own a puppy.

I want to retire my parents.

I want to see Radiohead live.

I want to be best friends with my boss.

I want to make sure my family is secure.

I want to find the perfect guy. (I might die before that happens lol).

I want to fall asleep on the beach.

I want to go to Coachella.

I want to learn a foreign language.

I want to see a UFC fight live.

I want to not be so dependent on chemicals.

I want to French kiss on the Eiffel Tower.

I want to live.