Mostafa is.

kinda clingy after one date.

I cannot do that at this point.

Clingy is just annoying.

I might life the feeling of a first date with a nice guy a little too much.

It’s refreshing!

I don’t want to get stuck on one when there’s an entire field out there!

After one date.

I can’t just do that, unless I’m comfy enough to stay the night with them.

First guy I stay the night with will get my absolute and complete attention.

Right now, I’m just seeing who I vibe with… and who I would see again.

It sucks that there’s only 7 days in a week…

I need more time.

Hell. I love my life right now. It’s nice making different kinds of connections.

Guys can be even more clingy than girls are. But idk the feels of a first date are nice. It’s like someone new you made a great connection with right away and enjoy.

I will settle down at some point. But I need more 2 and more dates to say that for sure.

when you get it all… there isn’t that element of surprises

The surprise is nice. I know sexually, my shit is amazing. So just taking that time is awesome.


Was really cute, and we had a really good kinda make fun of you relationship building.

He was super cute. Kinda short, but still super cute. Good face.

34. Works for the state. Lives alone.

We did not sleep together.

We made out though.

It was kinda nice. He uses a little too much tongue. I’ll tell him if I see him next time.

We played a game where you had to describe things or act them out, and you had to guess it.

Lol there was something funny where it was riding a bike and I had to act it out and he found this so funny.

Lmao. Great game to play on a first date.

We were in pintsized doing this.

Then we went to savoy, ate a little and talked a little more. Great conversation. It just flowed.

He was really nice, and really sweet.

I plan on seeing him again soon.


My schedule

I’m sorry I need to keep up with this or I’ll forget I made plans.


Monday: Brian/Aaron.

Tuesday: Will.

Wednesday: Russell

Thursday: Sam.

Friday: Phil I’m sorry. But I’ll have to give this to Aaron! Phil’s getting fucked. Aaron will make me drop a hot date in a New York minute. So I don’t think he has much competition

Saturday: Aric

Sunday: Jeff (again)/ plan to have Sean that night.

Then Mostafa will be coming to work out with me on Monday Wednesday or Friday.

Jesus. My life is awesome!!

I have people that want to meet me!

For the love of goddamn Christ,

Dexter has an amazing fucking body, penis, everything omg.

I’m really attracted to him.

So this started with him texting me to say that he couldn’t wait to be touching my perfect body tomorrow night, and he didn’t know what to do with himself so I suggested to jerk off to my nudes.

So I sent him nudes and videos.

Lol he is so fucking omg. Omg.

I can’t even describe how seeing his large ass penis and imagining it inside me made my body react.

I just got instantly incredibly wet

Ahhhh fucking Jesus Mother fucking lord god Christ shit fuck ah ah ah

I’m just so turned on by him. I’m gonna have to make an epilogue about Monday night.


Wow! I am really meeting really fun and interesting people!

Jeff is a archeologist/epidemiologist who loves to travel and try different kinds of foods! He just finished his PhD.

We met at iron gate and he was a great conversationalist.

We talked about a whole bunch of different shit and he is also a Radiohead fan.

I was like bro, how do I continue to get this lucky with the people I meet? Like what?

We didn’t sleep together… but I would like to see him soon and develop whatever happens.

He seemed really chill and laid back.

I’m so happy that I’m just meeting all these cool people and hope it turns out cool.

It’s Not The Length of The Boat, It’s The Girth.

Ok, I’m about to do a 180 from something I may or may not have said years ago…

The topic: penis size.

So, it’s a myth that big dicks are more satisfying to a broad (I’m only speaking vaginally; don’t ever talk to me about a southern orifice ).

This myth is SEVERALLY UNTRUE! (At least to me).

Let’s say a dude with a 10 inch dick wanted to have sex with me… I would immediately get very scared and pass. I wouldn’t ever fucking do it, unless I wanted my sex to be painful and uncomfortable. I am a very petite woman and I’m just not trying to do that.

The optimal penis I would love to screw would be between 5.5-7 inches when ready to go.

But length isn’t even that important.. the main thing that I (and most other people that like cocks in their vaginas) care about is the girth.

Girth is the most important thing because it’s the thing that takes part in ones satisfaction, not the length… (though hitting certain spots is important)

I can say unequivocally, I have never had an orgasm with someone who had a dick bigger than 7 inches.

I lost my virginity at age 18. I am 30 years old now. So in 12 years, a large penis has not given me an orgasm… I don’t want to say a blanket statement that it’s just not possible for them to give me an orgasm, but that’s what I believe.

There was a person that had the right length, but the girth was not there at all… I’m talking the skinniest penis I’ve ever seen in life. It was kinda comical, but I tried really hard not to laugh at the guy’s junk.

Surprisingly, I did get an orgasm… but nothing before that felt very good. He was just able to hit a spot, the rest consisted of me maneuvering myself in such a way that it happened.

This penis was so skinny that whenever this person wore a condom, it was a little loose. (I was on BC during the entirety of our relationship, so I didn’t care too much), but one time he put a magnum on (since those were the only condoms I had) and that shit was obviously way too big. It slipped right off. It didn’t have a chance to fit! Lmao.

Big dicks are great and all, sure. I dated an asshole who had a rather large one and besides his fetish for black women (and having them as his “slaves”), he would make me tell people that he wanted to fuck the fact that his dick was so big. He would continuously try and force me into having a threesome because “I couldn’t handle all the dick and he wanted to have sex 8 times a day for hours at a time and I couldn’t possibly be able to satisfy him completely.”

Its really not something to behold.

Sex is sex, but it’s so much better when the dick is attached to someone you’re attracted to more than just sexually. I am a woman, so yeah, I’m going to connect different feelings and attractions together.

when men are self-conscious about penis size, I can kinda understand it. As a woman, you’re seeing my tit size and the size of my ass through my clothes. What you see is what you get. For a man, it’s a crap shoot. They wear loose clothing so not only would you not know what their body actually looks like, you have no idea what their dick size would be unless you touch it (and if you want to get arrested for sexual assault, that would be a good idea).

It’s crazy that people really put an emphasis on big dicks… if you’re dick is 6.5 inches, gets somewhat fat when hard, has some really smart guy attached to it, that dick is ready!

I seem to get really bored really easily. It’s bad. I’m trying not to be that way, but excitement goes two ways I suppose. I can’t be the only one that’s all about everything. So that has something to do with it too I guess.

Obviously, everything I’m speaking of is more emotional than physical. I don’t think the physicality matters as much.


He’s 34. Lives alone. Very attractive. Web developer. Works for the state.

I had such a great conversation with him! And that sex was pretty fucking spectacular.

He kept telling me that I was fucking hot and he wish he could come home to the sight of me naked In his bed every fucking night. Haha when I took my pants off, he told was like “goddamn!”.

But ok, so he’s got a thick one. Ahhh. He def. liked my bj.

He was respectful in pulling out with a condom on. He came while staring at me rubbing on his inner thigh and gooch area. After I rode him reverse. He came all over the fucking place

We talked a lot about meet on apps and how people think it’s weird, but he’s met quality people on it. He said it’s possible to meet weird mofo’s IRL, too.

I talked a little about my experience with IRL vs actual meeting.

Bro, he was so chill and understood that after 2 weeks, you forget how you bet someone if you make a connection with them.

I noticed in our 30’s now, guys don’t care that you slept with them instantly rly😦 like who the fuck cares? Honestly…

I’m new here! I like to meet new people!

When I sucked his cock, that shit shit shit right straight up. Goddamn.

I plan on having sex again tomorrow. But who knows… if I don’t build that connect, I won’t want to.

If I’m not willing to kiss you on the first date, I’m not having sex with you. If the conversation is awkward… or no conversation occurs… nothing will occur.

My issue is that I’m able to have conversations with everyone. I always have questions on what a nigga is thinking, so I will Always Ask questions to try and move the conversation forward.

That nigga could fuck for hours though. I even got on his reverse. He was going to cum… I could tell.

He was sexy.

So far, two hangouts. Two people who want to see me again. I will be a busy person this summer!

What Do I Want…

I think the reasons why things haven’t worked out are because I’ve looked at things as this is what it’s going to be and that’s it.

What I mean is… when I started dating Eric, I told him I wanted something “somewhat serious” and we did things with that in mind.

Instead of doing that… I should just get to know people and let the relationship take its course.

So this is what I want… I don’t want to be in an exclusive relationship right now.

There are a lot of cute, brilliant, and interesting men in Albany. Many of them have their PhDs. Some have bachelors degrees. Some have no degrees but are interesting.

I can get to know these people while I’m here.

I can sleep with some of them.

I can not sleep with some of them.

This does not make me a bad person…

This makes me an exciting person that likes adventure and getting to know people my age.

But I’ve got plans this summer. This summer isn’t going to be a stupid boring summer where I’m all alone all the time.

This summer I will make the best friends I’ve ever had or will ever have, and these people aren’t going to be dorky assholes.

If they are, I will rid them with the quickness. I don’t need that bullshit. I’m working towards a goal. Actually working.

Like I’m driven. I’ve gotten here from pure determination., and I’m not going to be sad or cry about anything anymore.

Well nothing like this shit.

I said my fucked up shit out of anger. And you know, I actually believe what I said.

He knew that I had depression. Instead being a decent human being, that piece of shit only thought about himself. And he thought that I would really want to keep him around. He thought I was trying to get back with him.

Is he crazy? Lmao. Look at me, and look at him.

But really, I was scared. And I needed a friend to help me. And he’s just unable to be a decent human being.

So, I have brunch with Jeff tomorrow morning at iron gate. Then I am meeting up with Russell later on in the evening.

Dexter is coming over Monday night and will leave Tuesday afternoon… then I will go have coffee with my housemate Will Tuesday night.

And if all goes well…. I’ll just continue to make plans and do shit and remain a chemist.

This is the last actual post I will make about that guy. I’ve written everything that I needed to write. Lmao.

Oh, p.s:

This just really cracked me the fuck up… idk why. I imagined him wear a disco diva outfit with an afro hahaahahahaha

oh no… hahahahahahahahahahaha


I told that fat lazy POS off… I felt better.

I cried a little… then I found out that my upstairs neighbor also likes Radiohead!

I have friends now! So I really didn’t need him. I’m not doing anything today because my eyes are all types of fucked up. I’m just going to put some ice on them and watch the debates.

And eat pizza. I CRAVED pizza!

Lol Ethan commented on my Facebook post about chicks going on dates for food HAHAHAAHA.

I didn’t date people for food, but I thought about it!! Lol.

The article says that bitches actually put niggas in their phone as “food”

Yooo…. 😂😂😂 I’m dead.

Saaaa my fucking laaaa

When I talked to Eric about my symptoms, he seriously said to me, “please don’t think that this will get me back.”

I can’t believe I actually entertained his fat ass 😂.

I blocked his fat loser ass. He wasn’t deserving of me. He’s a Fat lazy loser:

I understand why his dad beat that ass. He should still be beating his ass honestly because he didn’t learn the first time. Hahaha

I blocked him. Go fuck yourself ERIC.

Thanks for the free food for the past 3 months… and the B+! Lmfao

You fat receding hairline fuck!

He’s a selfish asshole and I know he will NEVER GET his PhD. You can’t be that lazy and expect greatness, but then again, he’s at a shitty grad school. I seem to go for the lowest common denominator.

Fucking fat faggot ass loser.

Seriously; one thing about Eric I really fucking hated was the fact that he was never willing to apologize.

He was very indignant. I truly understand why he is single. If he doesn’t change, he might be single forever.

No woman in her right mind would be ok with being ignored and treated like they don’t exist. I now understand why his last ex tried to fuck his friend after they broke up.

It’s like, you want to fucking make him feel like the same kind of shit he made you feel like.

He’s all like “ohhh you’re showing red signs from my past” hmmm… you’re getting red signs because your LAZY ass doesn’t want to change and treat people like decent human beings.

If this is the way he is, he’s gonna get the same red flags. He’s not really a good “partner”. He’s not a very good person or friend.

That will be the last thing he hears from me.

I’m gonna wait until I know for sure before Italk to Ethan… but he would be that.

This Week: Work out blog.

I ran the mile on the treadmill I’m 18 minutes with an incline at times.

And on abs & glutes day, I did 35 curls at 25 lbs.

The. I did 20 glute extensions at 40 lbs, the. 10 at 70.

I think I’m going to come on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evenings after work and mondays and fridays I will do abs & glutes, And Wednesdays I will do cardio.

If I keep it up, by winter I will have a six-pack!

So I will keep track of my exercises here and show if I’ve made any progress.

This is my body now:

Once I make gains, I will take more pictures. My room’s a fucking wreck, I know.

I Miss The Comfort In Being Sad.

I’m going into work today looking like a bajillion bucks. You wanna know why…?

Cause my boss is back. Lmao. He accepted my time sheet a few moments ago, so I know he’s there.

It’s not healthy to like my boss this much… whatever. He’s a PhD level chemist, who is fairly attractive. I will obviously have some kinda crush.

So I came in fairly early today because I knew I had to NMR. I actually should’ve rotovap per the top spot yesterday, but it’s cool. Of course there was two people in front of me for NMR.

The school really needs to try and get more machines. One in the Life Sciences building, one on the chem building.

I feel like there were two… but maybe I’m making that up.

The other day, I stole someone’s NMR time. They didn’t come in until like 15 minutes into their time anyway, but the girl was actually from the first lab I shadowed last fall.

That lab was horrible! The grad student I was working with ended up quitting, and he cried to me and said, if you want to be successful in your undergrad career, do not join this lab. Join the lab of a professor that publishes papers and is in the lab.

This prof literally was never in the lab. At all! He sold me on a false lie that I would be synthesizing insulin…

First of all, now I know that there is NO WAY IN HELL that I could, with my limited knowledge, not even having finished organic chemistry I, would be able to synthesize insulin.

It would take years!

An undergrad shouldn’t even be able to do a project like that! That’s a fucking pipe dream. its probably a dangerous reaction.

So my NMR, I keep getting the same result. I have one spot that’s a mixture, and one that’s completely clean and pure.

I’m not exactly sure why Max had me talk to shunshen about it like something went wrong… but I had to repurify my compound, and recombine. Now, I may be able to do the next part which is creating the anhydride.

I’m going to try and stay late today. I don’t really want to be home left on my own.

Ugh, I wasted this outfit cause idt he’s here. He probably has a hangover. Lmao. He did say that he’s never been drunk a day in his life, but I find that difficult to believe… he drinks a lot, almost like a college student.

My ass is still killing me.

so my top spot is on high vac for an hour. I kinda wanna reflux it today while max is gone so I can practice doing it without his help and impress him if he ever wants me to do it again.

I think I’ll do ab day today.

Lol I just saw Eric and we spoke in Russian. He seemed a little stand-offish. I’m not really sure why he’s being weird. I honestly don’t have any bad feelings toward him or care about our breakup anymore. I really think we could be friends, one day. He’s got a lot of underlying issues I think. There not that apparent at first glance, like mine (I wear my heart/emotions/issues on my sleeve) but after being around him for some time, I can see them like a neon bright sign.

I think his pension for letting things ruminate are the reasons for his issues. Like if he just had that face-to-face conversation with me last week like we planned, things would be better.

I think he obviously finds me attractive, and maybe he can’t look past that, and thus he believes we can’t be friends because of that.

I’m the type of nigga that can get over things rather quickly… obviously. But I just don’t think he is that type. Maybe. I don’t know.

I think he’s a good person and really cool.

We just broke up, so I’ll give him some time.

My blood sugar felt like it was dropping when I saw him actually, then after I got my food, I started shaking.

I was actually really nervous when I was talking to him. I don’t know why. There’s something there that needs to be spoken about. Or somethings that I really want to say to him. Face to face. I really don’t think we will ever have that conversation. It’s kinda sad, honestly.

Eh… I’m gonna give it time.

Ever since this occurred it’s like I lost all will to live. I’ve been seriously considering ways to take my life and not make it look like I did that.

I’m not saying that I’m going to kill myself because we broke up, that’s just crazy. But my faith in people has diminished. I was already depressed and anxious and how he treated me just pushed me over the fucking edge.

My ability to open myself up to another person will be affected because of this. Because of this, I feel like damaged goods.

I think if he decides to be friends with me again, I’ll feel better about it. But the fact that someone that got to know me pretty well could just throw me out like that, it makes me feel like I’m not worth anything to anyone that isn’t a family member.

I really should go back to therapy… but I honestly feel like the best therapy would be to talk to someone who cares about me. I just don’t think anyone does care about me.

That’s hyperbole. There are people that care about me, they are just not around me right now.

I’ve been numbing my pain in destructive ways. It’s unhealthy.

I feel like all I am is a pretty face and a hot body to these men. They are not willing to look past my downfalls, or at least work on them with me.

I’m not worth the extra effort to them. This is the main reason why I told myself that I wasn’t going to be hanging around people in Albany. And the fucking first opportunity I got, I went against that.

I just think that I’m attracted to the wrong people. I’m attracted to people who treat me like I’m not worth a damn, but are unwilling g to say sorry.

Omfg, you’re kidding… right? Wtf! He’s on the bus… too? I actually took the wrong bus and ended up at the mall, then got back on the right bus and yeah, he was there.

At least he said Hi first, I didn’t even notice him there. Maybe he is willing to be friends again who knows.

Whatever. I said Hi and insulted his dad shorts that he was wearing. I didn’t notice that he was wearing those before. Lmao. Horrible choice of dress. He really does not care about his appearance.

So my reaction is refluxing right now. I decided that I am going to go to the gym and come back after to take care of it.

I also have to come in tomorrow to put it in the -80 fridge. I need to make up for those two days i missed this week because of the conferences.

shunshen has really been helping me these past few days. He doesn’t speak the best English ever, but he is very nice, and very helpful.


I’m a functional alcoholic and it’s beginning to take its toll on me.

The decisions I’ve been making lately have not been of sound mind. I’m actually scared that I won’t live too long like this.

In a weird way, I’d love to drop dead.

The only good thing I have is my body, and I’ve been using it to get whatever I want. I need to get it together. I need to get out of Albany. For one day. With someone. Idk…. and not drink.

I’m losing it.

My vagina.

Is in pain bro. God faaack.

Ok, I’m late. I haven’t even completely loubed my body up. I think I may still be intoxicated.

Oh well, I hope they don’t make me do anything today. Max didn’t text me back! I’m just going to continue the reaction with the 1 ug bottom spot. Lmao.

Mother shit faaack my pussy is really sore actually. Fuck, it’s ab day too. I’m gonna have to come home, change and then go back to the school.

Unprotected sex with multiple partners by Against me. That’s my anthem. Actually, it’s “The Rules” by Ben Kweller.

I’m definitely still intoxicated from last night.

Me gusta me reggae. Me gusta punk rock.

I’m mad late for work, and I’m going incognito cause I don’t want niggas to realize that I’m still wasted.

My poor vagina…

the severity of my sore-ocoty. Penis. Vagina. Dick pussy shit. I hope I sober up soon.

Someone’s giving their defense today. It’s an exciting time in the life of a chemist…

Not only was I half drunk today, I also fell right on my ass in the back of the lab.

I’m fucking pissed!!

these leggings are ruined!

Someone is going to pay for this damage. So here’s the blow by blow…. I was walking out of the lab minting my own fucking business and this idiot post doc had wax all over the floor for reasons unknown to me. He didn’t say shit: he just watched me slip three times before splat! I end up right on my ass.

Lol first my vagina, now my fucking ass. I’m going to be forced to be celebate if this shit continues!

so Dexter’s schedule sucks and we’re going to have to reschedule the vacation. Boooo!!

My vagina needs to chill anyway.

I plan on spending the 4th with Varon, instead of going to Alex Vignona’s party, even though Ethan will be there. I had one surprise Ethan viewing for the week.

That shit last night was so memorable. I don’t even know why it happened because I was very intoxicated, but my god that was some of the best sex I’ve had in a good minute.

I’m even scared to look at the text messages. Lmao.

I think I should mention that him and his gf are in an open relationship, so I don’t sound like someone that sleeps with married men (though I have in the past, but this time it’s legal).

I feel like asking Travelle if he wants to be fuck buddies again. But honestly, I don’t like his style. He had a large penis as well, but he feels the need to stick the entire thing in you the first shot and that is just uncomfortable.

I feel like once Eric broke up with me, I just turned into a sex beast. Sex with Eric was good… it wasn’t like spectacular or anything. But I really turned the ho on after the break up. Fucking Ethan without a condom. I am wild. He didn’t cum inside me though, so I don’t think it’s a huge deal.

I think the other time him and I had sex, we didn’t use condoms because I remember my period being mad late and I was so scared.

Unprotected sex is not something I do on occasion, but with big dicks, it’s kind of a buzzkill if you use one. It’s like kind of a waste.

But with smaller guys, I don’t mind it as much.

Ethan was tossing my salad and shit last night (or early this morning rather) I mentioned that white boys love ass play. Like why is that? He just laughed and kept eating my ass. Lmao.

I’m not a slut, I’m a well adjusted person that enjoys sex.

My right buttcheek is killing me!! These motherfuckers really caused an injury to my ass. I was so pissed when it happened;the first person I called was Varon to yell and holler about it. I was going crazy.

I keep getting the feeling of wanting to take my clothes off, but I’m still at the lab. It’s almost 4 and it’s not looking like I’m going home anytime soon.

I missed my NMR session today because Bilal decided that he was going to take his lunch while his shit was on biotage. Then there was a error while he was gone. I tried to fix it and I ended up doing some shit which caused one of his test tubes to overflow. It was 1 pm at this point and the only available NMR time was at 2:30… nigga came back at 2, bro! I was fucking tight!!

I’m not even going to rotovap my top spot. I’ll save that for tomorrow so I can NMR it then. Ugh.

I’m just waiting for the bottom spot to finish evaporating so I can head home. I had plans with Jake later, but I think I may cancel. I want to drink a little because I took two Ritalins instead of just one today. I probably shouldn’t have done that.

Last night

Was wild. My vagina hasn’t been satisfied like that in a long minute. My bed got all discombobulated. I woke up in a still sweaty heap.

Ethan…. good Goddamn

If he continues to sling cock like that, I will be very happy.

I need to take a shower. He came all over the place. All over me…

god. I don’t even want to think about sex. That mother fucker laid it all the way down.

Sex is 10x better without condoms. Sorry… it just is. He was able to handle me. And keep going. Not too many are!

God. I am completely satisfied. For once in life. Let me get this science going.

I wish I could wash my bed… but no. It’s drenched. I just need to shower now.

My jaw is on fire. I was grinding my teeth last night.

I like sleeping alone.

Having random hookups. I like it. I’m a slut, who cares. I like that kind of time.

The excitement of it was better than when I had expectations.

My hormones are quelled for at least the rest of this week. God. That mother fucker.

big cocks are satisfying. I’m just gonna day that. Ok, fine they don’t HAVE to be big.

Ethan’s shit was not like Dexter large… but it was huge. My vagina wants no more cock!

I’m not having sex until dexter. Two weeks from now… I need to stop. Lmao. I’m going into work with a hop and a step. First time in ages I can completely say I’ve been satisfied.

It’s the lack of condom I think. I like breaking the “rules”.

“Tell me all the rules, girl. I just wanna get them wrong.”

LMAO. This nigga is awake right now too. Jesus. I’m not the only person that’s an insomniac. Lmao. I don’t even know how he got here. Idt he drives. He might.

Can I talk again about how good that sex was? Jesus. I didn’t want to stop. He had to be like “Brah it’s like three. ”

I feel like I quoted Charles Manson last night, but not with Ethan. I think I was on the phone with Varon. That nigga said, “the only thing doctors are good for is curing the clap.” Hahahahahahahahahahaha

Omg. I probably shouldn’t go to work in this condition. I’ll sober up by 10.

… I think. God fuck. I don’t think anyone that wants to be friends with me should read this. I’m a promiscuous drunken slore that loves unprotected sex.

God. This is an admission, My orgasms on a condomed individual vs. no condom is like night and day. I’m just gonna spell it out, you will never satisfy me if you have one on. It’s just never gonna happen.

The older you get, the less you use them, right?

I’ve got a bitch of a hangover this morning. Goddamn my life bro.

There’s sweat and jizz all over my bed. Meh. Clean sheets are nice…

omg! I just noticed that he broke my fan. Omg this is going to be death in here without a fan.

The insanity.

Finally, I’m back to work and this mother fucking bus gotta play these games.

Of course, I spoke too soon. Lmfao.

So my course of action today is to purify my shit by biotage. Then TLC the fuck outta the shit. Combine. Rotovap. That should take me at least 6 to 7 hours.

Actually, it may not take that long. I might be overrating how complicated this shit really is. At least I’m making stuff and not dwelling over Schrödinger’s cat.

God, shoot me if I ever had to do research in physics.

I was accepting into the assistant TA program in the chem dept! So I’ll be TAing a general chemistry lab section. I’m excited but next semesters going to be wild. I hope I have time for research. I might drop the stupid Arab class and just take Russian next semester.

so equilibration should take about 10 mins. I’ve been at it for 15. I haven’t even loaded my shit on yet!

Here’s a picture of me being a chemist:

Here’s our biotage;

So the non polar solvent we use in my lab is Hexane. We use a lot of Hexane and a lot of DCM (methylene chloride) tell me how WE HAVE NO GODDAMN HEXANES IN THIS LAB RIGHT NOW!!

Sometimes Max gets me kinda angry at how cavalier he can be when it comes to ordering t reagents and solvents!

I probably should’ve column purified it.

This is all the hexane we have!

Actually, I lied. I found a big ass bottle of hexanes hiding behind some other big ass bottle of something. I take it back Max!! I love you!

I’ve been using the L word a lot lately, what has gotten into me?

Ok so I have two spots! The top spots look really huge. The bottom spots, not so huge. They left me in the lab alone! Shunshen was like um… qui disappeared but here’s his phone number if you need something, he’s in the building.

Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m going to puke. So weird. Idk what the fuck it is…

This Ber Guy is super annoying. I think he might be a stalker.

omfg!! I have my shit on the rotovap at high pressure… but nothing is happening. This is the same rotovap that I supposedly broke. I don’t know why or what to do about this.

Qui is watching some Chinese novella. His ass hasn’t been in the lab once today. lol everyone seems lazy after the conferences.

Goddamn it. I still have poor conversion! I think Max might have me run photolysis again! God, how annoying.

Here’s my spectra from today:

The bottom spot looks more pure this time… but I have such a small volume of it after everything. If I weighed it, it would be about 1 mg…. if that. It could be a microgram honestly. It’s so small.

I’m pissed, but I’m waiting for what the boss tells me to do….

I’m about to say something somewhat fucked up… but it’s not coming from a place of malice. You can unlock it with the password analsex


High School.

So I suppose Max is going to have a high school teacher working with us over the summer. Our lab is so full, we literally don’t have any hoods left… but he wants that grant.

It was so funny; max googled the dudes name, and tried to see a picture. He saw one picture and he goes, I think this is him, and me and the other girls started laughing cause the picture was of a straight up nerd.

Then he went to linked in, no picture. Max was like “come on dude!” Lmfao.

Max is unironically hilarious. It’s so crazy just hearing him talk like a normal person and not a professor. Lmao. I love this man.

Anyway, we have 6 people in our lab… we’re about to add another person. I have a feeling my vacuum hood will be shared. Unfortunately. I don’t wanna share my hood with anyone but Max!

So, our lab is about to get full. We will have at least 5 people doing synthesis. 😖

At least I’ve had these past two days off…

Please don’t split my hood!

The Reaction That Made Me Love Chemistry

Here’s my lab report:

Fatima Gaye
Che 121 – Preparation of Solutions: The Briggs-Rauscher Reaction lab report

06 October 2017

Solution 1: To find the amount of solute needed to create 50mL of 0.15M malonic acid (CH2(COOH)2) and 0.020 M Manganese sulfate monohydrate (MnSO4H2O) was calculated by using the formula:
G = (V (in liters) x molV) x gmol.
The calculation for the malonic acid: (0.05 L x0.15 M1 L)x104 g1 mol= 0.78 g CH2(COOH)2.
The calculation for the MnSO4H2O: (0.05 L x 0.020 M1 L) x 169 g1 mol= 0.169 g MnSO4H2O.

0.785 g of malonic acid, and 0.169 g of Manganese sulfate monohydrate were weighed, and both powders were transferred into a 50 mL volumetric flask filled halfway with distilled water. The flask was sealed and the solution was inverted about 8 times (to dissolve the solids) and labeled.
Solution 2: The amount of 0.20 M potassium iodate (KIO3) needed to prepare a 50.0 mL solution was calculated using the formula:
G = (V (in liters) x molV) x gmol.
The calculation for KIO3: (0.05 L x 0.20 mol1 L)x 214 g1 mol= 2.14 g KIO3

The dilution of 1.0 M H2SO4 to create 50.0 mL of 0.080 M H2SO4 was calculated using the formula:
(concentration 1)(volume 1 in liters) = (concentration 2)(volume 2 in liters)
The calculation for H2SO4: (1.0 M H2SO4)(x) = (0.080 M H2SO4)(0.05 L)
1.0(x)1.0 = 0.0041.0= 0.004 L = 4 mL of H2SO4

2.140 g of KIO3 was weighed, and 30 ml of distilled water was added into a 250 mL beaker along with the potassium iodate. Since potassium iodate is not very soluble at room temperature, the beaker was heated and stirred with a magnetic stirrer on a hot plate on a low medium setting. Once the KIO3 was dissolved in the solution, the beaker was allowed to cool down and transferred into a 50 mL volumetric flask. 4 ml of H2SO4 was also added to the flask which was covered with a lid, and inverted about 7 times and labeled.
To create solution 3: The volume of 30.0% Hydrogen Peroxide (H2O2) needed to prepare 50.0 mL of 3.6 M H2O2 was calculated using the formula :
M = nv (L), the result was in grams, so to calculate the final volume, the density of H2O2 (1.11 g/ml) was then plugged into D=mv
Calculations for H2O2 : 3.6 M =34 g H2O20.05 L= 6.12 g of H2O2

6.12 g x 100 g30 g= 20.4 g H2O2

1.11 g/mL =20.4 gv= 18. 4 mL ≊18 mL H2O2
20 ml of distilled water was added to a 50.0 mL volumetric flask. Because of the unstable nature of H2O2, the 18 mL solution was pre measured and dispensed into the volumetric flask. Distilled water was then added until the water level reached the etched mark on the flask. The flask was then closed and inverted about 6 times and labeled.
The Briggs-Rauscher reaction was demonstrated by adding 4 drops of 3% starch solution in a 150 mL beaker.10 mL of solution 1, 2, and 3 were measured in 3 individual graduated cylinders. Solution 1 was added first, then solutions 2 and 3 were added simultaneously and swirled. The clear solution began turning an amber color, and moments later turned a dark blue color, there was a flash of an indigo/purple color before it oscillated back to the previous amber color. The first cycle observed went from blue to blue in 11:56 seconds. What appeared to be tiny gas bubbles were observed in the liquid.
The possible reactions taking place simultaneously in the Briggs-Rauscher reactions are as follows:
H2O2 (aq)+ I2 (s)⇾ 2H+1 (aq)+ 2I -1 (aq) + O2 (g)
2IO3-1(aq) + 12H+1 (aq) + 5 Mn+2 (aq) ⇾ I2 + 6H2O+ + 5Mn+4
The equation 5H2O2 (aq) + 2IO3- (aq) + 2H+ (aq) + starch ⇾ 5O2(g) + starch-I2 + 6H2O(aq) explains how the amber color appears from the colorless solution. The equation
I2 (aq) + I- (aq) ⇾ I3- explains how the dark blue solution is produced and becomes colorless from the dark blue color. The equation 5H2O2 (aq) + 2IO3- (aq) + 2H+ (aq) + starch ⇾ 5O2(g) + starch-I2 + 6H2O(aq) explains the bubbles that were observed. The equations H2O2 (aq)+ I2 (s)⇾ 2H+1 (aq)+ 2I -1 (aq) + O2 (g) and Starch-I2 (aq) + CH2(COOH)2 (aq) ⇾ ICH(COOH)2 (aq) + I- (aq) + Starch explains why the reaction does not last forever.
The second trial was timed in 7 cycles, from blue to blue. The cycle times were 13.56 seconds, 14.79 seconds, 14.94 seconds, 16.86 seconds, 17.49 seconds, 18.97 seconds, and 20.20 seconds respectively. The length of the cycles changed over time as the cycles went from blue to blue at a slower rate. Once the cycle was placed on a magnetic stirring bar, the cycle times went from 21.52 seconds, 21.06 seconds, 20.87 seconds, 29.23 seconds, 27.20 seconds, 22.82 seconds, 27.20 seconds, and 22.82 seconds respectively. It seemed that the cycle happened a little slower on the magnetic stirrer. I believe that this happened because the chemicals, I2 in particular, is being consumed at a faster rate than it is being created while on the magnetic stirrer, making the color change happen at a much slower rate making the solution clear up.


God, I hope he doesn’t see this because I love you Dexter… but… when a 29 year old man is telling me that he’s going back to school for music… I’m gonna have some questions on what you’re doing in life.

He seems pretty happy though. He’s thanking me for being an inspiration to him. I’m just happy that he’s happy.

Dexter is a very attractive man with a rather large penis… but if he doesn’t get his shit together, that will all go to waste.

He also has a receding hairline. Lmao, I’m into balding men.

He seems to be getting his act together. He used to be really sheltered and not social. Now we’re talking… all day actually. He’s seemed to have changed a little. This is exciting for me.

So Dexter is my longest fuck buddy. We’ve been hooking up for about for 4 years now… off and on. I’ve known him for about 10 years. We’ve never lost contact. We’re basically really good friends.

Sex is somewhat uncomfortable with him. He is not allowed to be on top of me. Doggy style is not allowed either. Cowgirl & reverse cowgirl are the only positions we could do. After having sex with him, I’d be sore for a week.

When I say that he has a large penis… I mean it. It’s not only girthy, but there’s length. If there’s ever been a pornstar penis, his is it.

We will probably have sex again sometime in the future.

He said that he is now working out and eating healthy. He was getting a little fat the last time I saw him. But if he tightens that bod up, he’d be a perfect catch.

He is very intelligent. I remember one time gawking at his brilliance. He also loves Radiohead.

There’s a picture of his penis somewhere on my hard drive that I will look at on occasion when I wanna see a thick dick. Haha. That cock is like 9-10 inches with a 4.5 inch circumference. I’m not even exaggerating.

But I am glad he is happy! (I’ll be happier when I’m riding that.)

We’re planning on taking vacation together, I guess. The week after the 4th. He wants to go hiking in lake George. 😉

I just really want to sit on his cock. But we’ll see.

Dexter is a little flaky, so I’m scared to put my eggs in his basket.

The last time we had sex, we didn’t use protection. He came inside me. I was scared and I took a plan B (because I’m very fertile.).

I wasn’t mad, in fact I kinda drove the situation to happen. I know that if any man gets into my vagina unprotected, they will cum inside me. There’s no if ands or buts about it. I just know.

But I’m not planning on getting pregnant on this vacation, so I might start taking birth control. I’m at the point where it would work if I took it now.

Anyway, we will see. I’m happy to finally see him.

We plan on covering “Duality” by Slipknot. Hehe.