Here’s A Story About A Total Douche…

This douche’s name is William (second William I’ve dated, guess I didn’t learn my lesson the first time).

Will attended SUNY New Paltz when we first met. He was 24 or 25, can’t remember, but he was a year younger than me) We met at Cab’s (back when Cab’s was a thing) during a paint party. I went with one of my coworkers who was a very pleasant lesbian woman. I took some sass before the party.

When I danced with Will, this coworker told me to stop dancing with him because he looked like a serial killer, but I didn’t listen. He gave me his Facebook or something, I can’t remember. In my afterglow, I decided to hit him up. He seemed to be pretty decent; we talked on the phone, no awkward silence… it was cool.

We hung out on Valentine’s Day and a month later, we were officially a couple.

He told me about his problems assimilating in New Paltz. He did weird shit like ride around town on his bike with a boom box blasting soul music on his shoulder. I didn’t know this before I made the decision to be his girlfriend, but everyone in New Paltz called him “Boombox Guy”.

He did not have a very good reputation, in fact, a lot of people hated him. They called him chauvinistic… but I didn’t see that side of him (yet).

It wasn’t until 3 months into the thing that he started going on about threesomes. He told me that I was unable to completely satisfy him, and that I needed to participate in a threesome so he was satisfied.

I was NOT ok with this. First of all, I’m straight as all hell… secondly, I didn’t want to share my man. When I said that I didn’t want to, he continuously told me that I would warm up to it soon.

Finally, we got wasted and brought this very unattractive and fat chick into the bed. The morning after, I was very angry. I told him that he got what he wanted, and now I’m done.

He literally would not stop calling me. I had 50 missed calls from him. I blocked him, then he went on Facebook.

Finally we came up with a deal that if we wanted an open relationship, I would do my own thing and he would also.

When I decided to sleep with someone who was VERY attractive… he made a big deal out of it. He told me that he didn’t approve of the person so that meant that I cheated. I swear, it probably wouldn’t have mattered who I slept with, he wouldn’t have approved.

Finally, a day before his finals began, I told him I was done. Don’t call me anymore. Forget that I exist.

He rode his bike all the way from New Paltz to Montgomery to try and get me to stay… I told him I couldn’t do it.

After this, he transferred from New Paltz to Albany (my school now) and changed his major to Africana Studies.

After a little, I was an idiot and I hit him up. We met up in Albany. The first few times we saw each other, things went well. Then we decided to take acid…

This trip was probably the worst trip I’ve ever had on LCD. Immediately after I dosed, I felt closed off. I was silent the entire time and I was subjected to Will speaking freely about everything.

He started talking about slave masters raping their slaves as if it wasn’t rape but something the slave wanted. Then he stated that he wanted multiple wives, all black, and added “but not exactly like slaves”.

I knew instantly that this piece of shit was a racist prick with a fetish built on his racism.

He told me that he is an Africana Studies Major because he wanted to help less fortunate black people. He said he chose his apartment (which was basically in the ghetto) because it was in a neighborhood of less fortunate blacks and he helped many single mothers in his neighborhood by babysitting and shit.

The next morning, he turned the radio on to a conservative talk station and claimed that he loved to hear both sides.

After I broke up with him again, he changed his political ideology to conservative.

I think he dated another black girl right after me, but they didn’t last very long (it’s a trend).

This man will be perpetually single, and it’s not by choice. He cannot keep a woman because he is a fucking asswipe. He tends to date very young (18-21 year old) women because they aren’t experienced enough to realize that he is a fucking idiot.

He wanted to control me… this is an impossible feat. I’m all the way alpha…

Whenever he’s dating someone, he automatically changes his profile pic to a picture of them. Once they break up, he posts a douchie shirtless pic.

I hope he stays lonely forever. Any woman that takes a chance on him will be feeling completely used.

His younger brother has very severe autism. His brother cannot talk at all. I believe Will is more high functioning on the spectrum. One thing that he never did was look me dead in my eyes. Every time I looked him in the eye, he looked away.

Lack of eye gaze is a symptom of Asperger’s Syndrome. I really believe he is undiagnosed.

When it came to feelings, he could never relate. I asked him, “what is the reason people get married”? And he said, “because they want to reproduce” and I said, “this is the exact reason why I am dumping your ass, people get married because they love each other. You don’t understand love because you don’t understand feelings”.

Autism can be easily confused with psychopathy/sociopathy. Those on the spectrum cannot relate with the feelings of others, just their own.

This describes Will to a fucking T.

He finally graduated from Albany and he planned to work as some baby sitter or something in Washington DC… I wasn’t really sure. When he was at New Paltz, he was a history major.

I didn’t start school until the semester before he graduated… in my first semester, I took introduction to chemistry (since I didn’t take high school chem) and my first quiz ever, I got a 50%. When I told him about this, he told me that the reason I didn’t get a good grade was because I didn’t eat healthy enough… this was the type of fucking douche bag this idiot was.

I obviously finished that course with an A, actually I had a 4.0 with 16 credits my first semester. I never ate any carrots, in fact, I was still smoking cigarettes at that time.

Before the end of my first semester we broke up so I never got to gloat.

In a month, I will post a story (that I’m still working on) that mentions him and some of the issues I had with him, so I wanted you to understand the full back story before you read that small segment.

In the past, I’ve obviously made dumb decisions as I outline every day. Right now, everything is just right… I am not ignoring the horrible things… there aren’t any. It’s nice for once that someone wants to take me out and spend time with me, be seen with me in public, and treats me well. I can honestly say that in the past, this wasn’t a thing.

I don’t want to make it seem like I never was a douche either, because I have been in past relationships. In fact, in the beginning of my relationship with Will, I was still seeing Artie on and off. Once we made it official, I stopped.

I don’t operate that way anymore. Im just too old for all that right now.

I am just comparing 25-27 year old Fati with 30 year old Fati; this Fati knows what the fuck she wants.

I just cannot accept anymore toxicity in my relationships; any sign of that shit and I’m moonwalking the fuck outta the situation.

He Works Through Lunch.

When I first joined the lab, one of the grad students told me that Mac works unbelievably hard. .. like workaholic status.

I didn’t fully realize it until today. The man comes in with guns blazing this morning. He’s like “Faateema, let’s quench the rxn”! So we go do that, then he pulls out the reaction I was doing yesterday and he goes now we are going to base wash this, and I’m basically working on two reactions simultaneously.

I was the last one to go to lunch since I was so busy. I left and Max was rotovapping something.

I don’t take really long breaks, maybe 20-25 minutes… when I got back, Max was still standing by the rotovap. He did not go to lunch! He has barely left the lab today.

When I had him as a professor, I really thought he hated me. He never called on me when I raised my hand; he always said hi to everyone but me… still, I stuck it out and ended up with an A. (Actually, I got a 97 on my final. One question wrong!)

So when I approached him about research, I was certain he would ignore my email or something. He responded, and right away he gave me a desk in the lab, and he introduced me to everyone.

Around the time of my first physics exam, I skipped lab for like 2 weeks trying to study. He emailed me right away and asked if I wanted to work in the lab still and if I wanted to do research. I told him that I was just a little busy studying but that I did and do want both.

So he calls me to his office, he makes this presentation about a project he is going to write a paper on. He told me that he wanted me to be a part of the project, and he also said, since you want to be published, this is your chance.

After this, he invited me to group meeting.

These were indications that he saw something in me. Maybe he really didn’t hate me. Working close with him now, the man takes no shortcuts!

Though he’s wearing slippers in the lab (something that is completely illegal by chemistry standards), he always wants everything to be perfect.

When I make mistakes, he doesn’t bitch at me over them, he uses them to teach me lessons. He makes me feel really comfortable in my first real chemistry job.

I can’t say enough about the man. He is great. I’m really glad I chose this lab.

Plus he’s kinda hot. (I’ve thought all my chemistry teachers were hot, but he’s the hottest one out of them all. Lmao)

He’s running through the lab screaming, “Dees laydees and gentlemen ees a yield!” “I weel take that for a yield” dees my yield! dees my yield!” I love this man!