Borderline Personality Disorder.

This is probably one of my favorite mental disorders.

Of course those that suffer with it have a very unbalanced sense of self and black/white view of everyone and that is bad, but it’s so fucking interesting.

Those with BPD like to latch onto a person, or thing, and transform themselves into that. I’ve had a friend who was a borderline (who I also couldn’t seriously be close with because they would basically try to do things that I was doing). This person and I reconnected a few years back.

We were both in school, I think I was actually in my second semester back. This was when I decided to be a science major. This person was in the arts. They decided that they wanted to study math/science instead and upheaved their entire education, making it longer until they were able to graduate.

For that person to graduate with an associates in math or science, it would’ve taken them about 3-4 years. That’s the normal time for a bachelor’s degree.

I told them that it really didn’t make sense for them to do that, but they said that they wouldn’t get a job doing art, they would get a better job doing math or science (I couldn’t disagree there, getting a degree in math can set you up in a number of fields, even sports! A science degree is hit or miss though. Well, namely biology and physics. More physics than bio)

So they moved to my community college, changed their major, then I decided it was healthier for them to not have me as a friend. I stop talking to them for their own good. I really cared about them, but I knew if I continued being friends with them that they would make dumb decisions such as that.

One time, they had some sort of a “breakdown”. I was also good friends with their significant other. I called the significant other and I asked him if he wanted to talk about it over a blunt or bowl.

The significant other invited me over. Their apartment was dark, and kinda gloomy. The significant other and I didn’t even talk about what occurred. The significant other kept asking me why I asked to hang, implying something other than friendship. I told them, “because I care about this person and I want them to succeed”.

He seemed to think I wanted to have a secret hookup, or so it seemed. I tip-toed my ass out of there real quick.

I hate people who cheat. Whether it’s a physical cheat, or emotional cheat. Nigga, you’re cheating.

Never looked at that person the same again. When I started to date the depressed guitar player, I wanted to reconnect, but guitar player said no, he wasn’t comfortable with that. If he was ever right about a situation, that was it. Guitar player was also very self-conscious. I think he knew that he could lose me at any moment, which is why he tried so many different things to force me to stay.

Anyway, back to BPD…

It’s a dangerous disorder… mentally. Its a person being very unstable and making rash decisions. It’s a person being so out of control because they have no idea who they are. It’s a person that latches on to someone else’s sense of self and adopting that as their own.

It’s scary.

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