Poor Appetite, but one for destruction

I just realized today that I haven’t eaten in days.

When I’m depressed, I update my blog a lot, (Hello?) but I also stop eating. It’s funny, my mom is the exact opposite.

I don’t feel weak at all and actually, my blood sugars have been running high (there’s no surprise there).

Tomorrow, I will take my first exam. I’m very nervous. I need to get an A to get an A- in the class. I’m almost positive I will score a B flat in the class.

Physics is my major worry. I kinda started studying, but Tomorrow night/Saturday night will be devoted solely to physics. I might look at Orgo lab, but from the practice test I took, I scored a 30/34. The ones I got wrong were because I didn’t read the question clearly, so I will take the entire time allotted for that exam.

Physics, I honestly think I understand it, but then I get my grade back and it’s complete bullshit. I’m really not sure what topics he will put on the exam, but my teacher is such a sweet guy.

I emailed him to ask if I would be allowed to eat a snack during the final since my diabetes likes to fuck with me while I’m taking finals, and he says “That’s fine by me. Just make sure you’re discreet about it because technically food and drink is not allowed in the lecture centers, but I won’t say anything if you don’t :)” (direct quote).

I think I’m going to miss physics. It is so challenging, but rewarding when you figure it out. All the laws of chemistry are based off Physics, so it’s really cool to relate the two.

I will be taking biophysical chemistry next semester, so it will still be physics… but I want to take another pure physics class. Pref. Quantum mechanics.

I think I may need another math class for that, and I’m sorry… I’m done with math. Math made sense to me until we got to the infinite series. That shit is just so weird. It’s all number theory, logic, and calculus combined into one. The second part of the class was a lot more difficult than the first part.

This semester has really been the most stressful of my college career. I’m only taking 12 credits, but the courses I’m taking are some of the most difficult undergrad courses for their respective subject areas.

At the end of next week, I think I will go visit my mom for a little bit. Maybe go visit my sister in the city, and yell at/make fun of Charchie. Lmao.

I would really want to go camping or be around water, but eh, we’ll see.

Not to gloat, but I look really good in a bathing suit:

Lol, at least there’s one good thing about me.

I was actually 20 pounds heavier in this pic, more about that later….

All I really can say is, I’m at peace with everything going on in my life right now. I might be depressed, but I’m at peace. I will survive next week and begin the first step to my career goal of being a medicinal chemist.

The future used to freak me out, but I’m talented, I know that. The team that decides to give me a chance will have a dedicated woman on their side. 🙂