I had a good date with this person that I will not name for the time being. He’s super smart and really nice. 

He’s so cute. I just can’t! We will be hanging out soon. I’m gonna **** his ****. 

Conclude that as you may.

Being Free

It’s never a good idea to hook back up with an ex.

This kid is crazy, so basically we had arguments because neither one if us liked the way we were spoken to by the other. I’m not good at breaking things off; That skill has never been a part of my repertoire, but I decided that he can go fuck himself One day and ended up making a “connection”. I didn’t have sex, but yeah. The grass was greener.

Basically Will told me that if I didn’t allow him to “be the boss” that we were done. And that’s when I really told him to go fuck himself. I tried to keep the peace, to no avail. Because unless I’m on my knees begging for his socially awkward ass, we can’t be friends.

His problems stem from a lot more than what happened here. He’s gonna have to learn, hopefully he’s not alone for the rest of his life. It seems he may be. 

I’m doing Amazing in school and my career goals will soon take a greater role in my life than anything else. He wasn’t very supportive and I’m not sure he wanted a woman with a career so he could have that much more control. He said it himself, he wanted two women pregnant with food on the table. 

Not sure where he believes he will find these women. He hasn’t even been in a long term relationship at age 26. Dreaming is good sometimes!

My new math tutor is really cute. And really smart. And yeah. That’s who I’ve been making out with. 

After

I had tons of sex this weekend… What do I want? 

More than that. Like I’m honestly supposed to choose one man to be with forever, right? There will be a day where sex isn’t a thing anymore, if I can see past that, would I still want you?

What are the good things?…

Intelligence, active, opinionated, strong will.

Bad things?…

These could be minor to you, but the over openness about what we do, especially to your friends, you can be a slut and that is fine. But when it is me, it’s different.

I can’t ever know if you are telling me the truth because you can never really look me in my eyes. It’s a little awkward. It makes me uneasy.

Your preoccupation with sex is kind of weird. The world isn’t operated based on sex. And I think your view of the old days and what went down is a little muddled. 

No one can ever tell you you’re wrong either. It’s like you gain a point fighting opinions, like yours is the only valid one. 

I’m afraid. Seriously. Will I produce urinated genetic spawn? Health of the body can be fixed and worked through… Health of the brain will always be a hurdle. 

Maybe I should listen to my brain?

I tend to ignore it when my heart feels something. 

It’s sad when you realize that you’ll never have that perfect view of life, the one you’ve wanted ever since you were old enough to realize… 

Fuck.

I’m So Excited

I’m really excited about the grades I’ve gotten during midterm so far.

I haven’t gotten them all back yet, so I could’ve gotten a bad grade, but so far I know I’m doing great in chem and that class is the most important out of them all.

Yay! Go me!

You have a big dick. Yet,….

this is one of my top complaints ever. I’ve seen a fair share of guys with larger than normal sex organs. And I’ve noticed a trait that sends me over the fucking edge.

So I will use my friend Big D, he’s my greatest example, plus I’ve recently talked to him on facebook about dumb shit and was reminded of his non fuckable ass.

So big D and I became friends through Artie. Artie’s friends we’re so awesome. We went to festivals together and we totally were cool.

One day him and I were talking about some shit and he told me that he was single and that he wanted to fuck. I was like ok, whatever, I’m down. I was seeing another person at the time who didn’t care if I saw other men. 

So big d talked huge about his dick game, sent me pictures of it. Praised it, told me how girls become obsessed with it. 

I told him I’d be the judge. I’m used to men and their self aggrandizing glory. I know when to look through it.

D came to pick my black ass up. He drove me all the way back to his house on this fucking mountain. And we went to his room, which I like to judge people based off their room. It didn’t look like he really cared about cleaning for me, which I didn’t give a fuck, my room is never clean. But I still got the impression. That he tried to clean. Yeah, weird.

So we started kissing and right away I realized that this wasn’t going to be fun. He was getting way too excited way too quickly. 

So I started giving him a BJ. (I wanted to end the ordeal quickly) His dick was huge but I managed to almost get the whole entire thing down my throat. More than twice.

Second fastest blowjob if ever given. The fastest was less than 4 minutes. I think he clocked in at 7. Yes, I time all of my partners. 

He had the decency to pull out and not cum in my mouth which was honorable. Right after that, he said, “wow, I needed that first one” 

Yeah, sure dude. Then he quickly got hard again. Then, it was time to fuck. Oh lord. I failed to mention that he is ungodly horrible at kissing. That seems to be a Washingtonville thing though. I wanted this to end ASAP, he was huffing and puffing throughout the experience like he’s never fuxked before… Hahahaha 

So after 10 minutes and a sierra desert like pussy, it was done. We sat naked and talked about our love lives. He told me about this girl he liked that was totally giving off mixed signals and he thought the reason for that was because she was feeling him… No, maybe she knew that you had a huge cock, but are a disappointment. 

He mentioned that he hadn’t  had a lot of sexual experience, that was obvious. He’s a year younger than me. At the time, I just turned 27. His birthday is in the same week as mine, january. So he was 26. 

I hope a year later him and his big ass cock learn how to fuck.

Then we go to dill, (this is not his name, however this is the name I will use to describe him). Out of all the bigger cocked mates that I gave ever had the displeasure to have banged, his cock is Definately in the 86th percentile, in terms of size.

One good thing about him is that he is exceptionally good looking. To the point of gawk. However, he too is inexperienced. He’s way younger though. 

I had the biggest crush on this man and really wanted to fuck the living shit out of him, I finally got my chance. Actually, I got two, but I will talk about the first time at another time. Hahaha

The second time was strange. At this time I had my own apartment and was lonely. He hit me up for some cloneazepam and I was like yeah boy, come the fuck through. I met him outside and gave him the shit and he wouldn’t leave. 

He finally was like, “Wanna go to digi’s” and I didn’t have a damn to do, so I accepted and we be out. Digi had Special K and molly and it was a fucking Tuesday, but we did some. We got annihilated and went back to my house. Some where along the ride we stopped somewhere and some guy was like “your girlfriend is hot” and Dill told me how good it felt to walk around with a girl who looks like me and giving off the impression that he’s winning.

So we got back to my house and I asked him to come in. 

We sat all fucked up, got more fucked up and had sex. Now, this is where we get to the nitty gritty, we started making out and talking about sex. He told me about his inexperience, and I told him about never getting an orgasm. He mentioned how not funny that was because everyone I’ve  ever slept with has had an orgasm, yet I haven’t. 

And then, with the most intense look in his eye he said, I want to give you an orgasm. And then we continued making out and started to fuck. 

Because I had done an intense amount of ketamine, I can’t blame Dill seriously because it could’ve been the drugs. But he was fucking me so slow and I wasn’t even sure he was penetrating me, although I saw his dick entering me, I still wasn’t sure.

Finally when it was over, I told him he did it just to make him feel special and he left a little while after. 

The first time we had sex was also an awful experience, so I can only say that Dill’s dick game, no matter the size of his actual dick, is wack. 

Now, my boyfriend, Will is packing all kinds of heat. And he is amazing in bed. So this isn’t against all larger dick individuals. But a lot of them, I’m not sure if it’s the experience, but the reason why they don’t have experience is because you can’t use the fact that you have a big dick to try and reel in girls. Every guy does that. It doesn’t really work. 

So that means that you must have something other than a huge ass cock. That is all your average big ass dick guy has so, there’s my hypothesis on that situation.

I had to read a short story in English called Beyond the Wall and it’s 5 pages of huge words and kind of confusing diction. But the story is absolutely heart wrenching and I recomend anyone who loves to read and has time to read that story.

Don’t let love slip through the cracks.