I have a huge family. With a nice assortment of different cultures and colors and shit.

Most of my family is Muslim. Born and raised. But, through marriage there are Christians in my family. And most of them have converted to Islam. Except a few…

It’s not the biggest deal in the world that they are not muslim although in Islam, generally, only men are allowed to marry outside of their religion. But the goal is for the man to make sure his children are believers. 

So my uncle Silhadi, (God rest his soul and give him nirvana) was one of my uncles that had a interdenominational marriage. I was young when my uncle passed away but I still remember the last day I saw him. It was the same day his car crashed into the utility pole on Saw Mill River Road in Yonkers. 

I was 5, I remember just starting kindergarten. And my uncle came over early in the morning. It was like he was saying his goodbyes. He hugged each of us and told us to behave and gave us complements and told us how proud he was of us.

He left. And moments later, we got the call. 

See, when you’re young, death isn’t really death. Like it seems like a long sleep. We didn’t realize that that was the last time we’d ever see him again.

It changed a lot of family relationships when he died. I remembered being uber close to my cousins, Aisha and Jamal. That changed instantly after he died.

As I’ve become older now (in age, not really in attitude), I’ve learned that my uncle was drunk that morning. My uncle loved to drink although alcohol is haram (forbidden). 

I also sensed kinda that my mom and grandma Mariam didn’t like my uncle’s wife, Shawna. As I know now, my uncles marriage was on a decline right before he died.

I still remember the turmoil between my Mom, my grandma and my uncle’s wife… She refused to have the muslim burial or him buried in a Muslim cemetery. And clear as if it happened yesterday I remember the huge smile she had on her face in front of my uncle’s open casket. It sends a chill down my spine to this day.

After it all, shawna talked to her lawyers and sued Volkswagen because my uncle died primarily because the seatbelts in their car cut right through his chest. Even though he was drunk, he could’ve been saved if the seatbelts werent faulty. 

She won a shitload of money. Of course she didn’t give any money to any family members and she remarried a few years later. 

She supposidly made Aisha become some devout Christian. But a psycho one. This girl thinks Jesus talks to her directly. And she does dumb things like picks up strangers on the side of the road  in Florida because Jesus told her to.

My other cousin Jamal who was a little older when he lost his father obviously has not dealt with it in a productive manner either. He’s a functioning alcoholic even though he’s doing awesome for himself in the world of hair & beauty. He hooked a bitch up!

Shawna will randomly message my mother on facebook and try and make her feel some type of way. (And that phrase normally doesn’t make a lot of sense but, here, it does.) 

On the anniversary of my uncle’s death, she posted about it and I’m paraphrasing but, she said: 20 years ago, the father of my children died in a car accident. but now I have a loving husband and the best life.

One thing that has stayed true throughout the years… She’s always been a fat white-washed bitch.

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